Tough Times

I would love to say it got better but it hasn't. Life goes on and I am trying to keep going and keep things calm but it is hard work. I am trying to get my head around sorting out Christmas and sorting out getting this house finished to sell next year. I am going to buy two smaller ones and let the older kids have one of them to live in and one for me and the twins and S cos this place is too expensive for me long term. They are all happy with that idea. I am not sure if I will be able to run the rabbit rescue from a smaller place tho:(

It has got very cold here now and the heating doesn't seem up to it.

I feel strange like someone punched me only no one has. It will get better tho.

The Week

It is only Thursday but it has been a busy week. Many of our rescues have been for spaying, neutering, microchipping and vaxes this week. I seem to have spent hours transferring rabbits from hutch to travelling box and back again. It has rained and rained so cleaning out had to be done in the wet and I got soaked through twice. The boys have been playing lots. They need adjustment time and have been gaming and watching T.V and playing board games and bouncing on the trampoline when it was dry enough to get on. B spent a while converting pounds to kilograms and was chuffed he can do it in his head. D is reading loads on the computer. I am finding it harder work then I envisaged. This is partly down to the fact that the kids are not doing their jobs at all or not that well and partly due to the circular arguments over stuff now dh isn't here. The kids have always been vocal and very loud when together but it reached an all time high this week. I find I am being talked down to a lot as well and stuff that is none of their business is put up for discussion. I hope it gets better.

S has a friend for a Bonfire sleepover tonight. It was her 15th birthday this week so she is having a birthday tea tonight and I have offered a trip to the firework display on the cliff top but noone seems keen.

Dh is visiting on Saturday as the kids said it was O.K *roll eyes* Not impressed with all the dictating too. tbh Whatever dh is or isn't he is still the boys dad. He has offered to do some jobs for me ( skip filling being one of them) and I am grateful. Kids were annoyed by this but I said "You lot do them then." Silence. It's all fun here lol.

Life

It's been a few days of complete chaos cos we had a new boiler put in by BIL which meant a fair few floorboards up, no water on, stuff everywhere and the contents of C's room out overnight. It is great now tho and it is warm and we have hot water.

After a lot of upset over many years dh and I parted company for good. He has moved miles away by choice. The kids are O.K about it ( which most people do not believe but they didn't live here lol) and seem relieved the upset is over. I am too. I didn't realise how bad it was until it stopped. I feel like a wrung out rag but much happier.

Chudley had to be put down on Monday cos he fell and broke his leg. It was too bad a break to be fixed. It was very upsetting and poor S was distraught. He was her first rabbit. We had a funeral for him and G brought home a rose from work to put on his grave. S made a plaque for him but when it came to finding the varnish to seal the paint on the wood the workshop was in such a state after an hour we gave up. I must buy some. We have been out a lot more then usual and I and the girls did a major house clean. C helped sort out rubbish for collection, S had mates round. Tomorrow we are pumpkin carving and getting a baking shop to do a huge bake. I have run out of flour!! Unheard of for me.

We have 21 rabbits in the rescue at the moment and the RSPCA phoned me to ask me for a donation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I howled with laughter. It is mental here and cleaning them out is like painting the Forth Bridge.

Slow and Mellow

I have been tired out since Monday but have forced myself to keep going. We have so many rabbits now and a re-homing has fallen through so the two that were going are staying after all. 21 rabbits take a bit of sorting each day. S hurt her back so has been out of action and dh still has cold and so does K. D is better and back to his a question every 15 seconds state. He is reading miles better now and seems to be picking up new words everyday. B is still writing his Pokemon/Harry Potter book and making trading cards. The Mayan and Russian history has been ongoing and we are sporadically looking at a book called the Evolution Revolution. D seems more willing to write nowadays and told me he needs to be able to spell more words so I am thinking about how we can do that without it becoming a daily grind. Putting anything out on the table is the death knell of any learning. The boys got a free map of our area from the Ordnance Survey people and have spent a while looking at it. D has been watching animal programmes and coming out with amazing facts I had no idea about and B has been doing maths puzzles.

D got a crash course in how to fit a new boiler and transfer from a hot water tank system to a combi today and saw the amount of upheaval it takes. Floorboards were up everywhere and mounds of gear in odd places lol. It will be finished tomorrow and will be much more economical to run. The loft room the water tank was in has been taken out, as it is not needed anymore, along with about 10 miles of pipework, leaving a huge space. Dh is going to make it into a bedroom for S as hers is small. D is going to have hers and that will free up B to be on his own. We've had visitors. S mates came over and another is sleeping next weekend. I had a long chat with a new HE on the phone and she is visiting soon too. She has a ds D's age. C was 20 this week and we had a buffet tea of his favourite food. Where did that 20 years go?

Went To London

to see the Select Committee into the Inquiry Into Home Education with Sarah yesterday. ( piccies soon) They wanted to hear from a group of parents and kids and I got invited and Sarah came with me. It was good from the point of view of how many got to speak and what great points they all made and the kids were fantastic. It was great meeting HE I have only ever spoken to on the internet. Still not sure how I feel about the meeting tbh. I think it went well from our point of view. We showed ourselves to be articulate, normal, people with confident kids. Sarah refused to speak as she was watching the panel and decided none of them gave a stuff what we were saying anyway so it was pointless and she was convinced they were recording it after saying at the beginning they wouldn't. I am not sure anyone, except Graham Stuart, was actually that interested in what we were saying and that made it hard so well done those who plugged away at them. I also felt a bit of negativity and boredom from some of the members. One pulled faces when people were speaking. The chair didn't let me speak and I was miffed about that but not actually that surprised given what my select committee submision was about. lol. However others managed, very articulately, to say a lot of what I would have so in some respects it was no big deal. I think the main problem was there was too much to cover in too short a time and a lot of nitty gritty stuff wasn't even mentioned by the members. All in all I did think it was like teaching fish to ride bikes and only one was willing to give it a go.

Personally I found it a hard day. I loved meeting everyone but was battling feeling really sick all day and generally exhausted and crap. We nearly missed the last train home cos of tube train problems and it was a race to get it through a tidal wave of humanity all walking the other way to get on it. Sarah lost her escalator phobia cos she had no choice but to ride at least 15. I got buttonholed by a creep waiting for our connnection on a deserted station and had to phone dh to come and walk home with us. Good job he did cos creep got off at our stop.

Today and I am cleaning up the debris of being out all yesterday from early until 11 pm, sorting out Ds 20th birthday and trying not to feel depressed.

Sorting Out Life

We have been really busy since getting home from the holiday. The house was clean and tidy and all the rabbits and pets well cared for by the older 4 but I had a mountain of washing and B came down with a bad cold and then dh got flu. Various things have been done like learning about the Mayans, the ongoing Russians and an obligatory lapbook I pull off the internet for free and astronomy started in ernest with a model planterium that lights up at night in the process of being made. B is still writing his book. I am twitching over maths despite B demonstrating by accident on holiday he knows all his times tables and can divide large numbers in his head. Ditto D. Stupid of me I know. The ongoing saga of the upkeep of this house has given me some sleepless nights until I came up with a winning plan that is simple if it comes off and everyone agrees with it. More about that as it unfolds.


Freya has settled in and is washing herself on the end of my bed as I type ( I have flu) and we have re-homed some rabbits this week. Autumn has set in now and it is blowing a gale and summer already seems a distant memory as we shiver round the fire in far too many clothes. I have hope tho that before next winter things will be better.

We're Back

after a week of life experiences and a few steep learning curves for me. Namely:-

1. 80 mile an hour gales while living in a caravan on the edge of a cliff and autistic children do not not mix. No matter how many times you tell them the caravan will not blow over they think you are lying. Come to that I think dh thought I was too.

2. Going to any place to eat that does not serve burgers is a big mistake.

3. 5 hours on a train with D without an ipod is a bad idea.

4. Rockpools and cameras also do not mix unless they are underwater ones. Ours isn't so a good deal of our piccies have been lost forever.

5. Only I want to live in a caravan in the wilds of Scotland. The rest of the family hate the idea even tho it was centrally heated with two toilets and a better shower and kitchen then ours at home.

I am shattered and a little bit defeated. Great tho much of it was it is obvious none of my lot like holidays that much, some refused to go and others hated it and never cracked their faces all week until they saw the home going train at the platform. B regressed so much I think it will take him 3 months to recover. So we are back. I had foolishly already booked for next year but think I will be going on my own or with one other child or cancelling and spending the money on a mundane thing for the house. We need a coal bunker. Meanwhile I have my "boring grind" ( quote by eldest dd who has filled in for me all week who cannot in all seriousness believe how crap my life is cos all she did was clean and cook and sort out animals - welcome to my world dd) to resume.